Communicationz

Four tips for gaining buy in

This morning I was faced with two urgent technological challenges:  How will we keep our new website looking fresh and how do I convert a Word document to PDF?  My favourite small business technology blog: Working Solo, had two new posts that helped with these issues.   As well as immediately racing into both posts, I know I remembered far more of their contents - because they helped solve my problems.

You can engender that desire for a solution when you prepare for your meeting or for your presentation. Here are four ways in which to build people's buy in. 

1. Get them concerned about the problem before you suggest a solution:  Your starting point must be to build the need in the listeners' minds.  We often see speakers leap into their preferred solution almost at the start  and yet if we don't believe we have a problem, we are unlikely to buy the solution.  Remember to inflict pain on them!  Get your listeners worried about what will happen if they don't take up your solution.  This approach derives from excellent sales research by Neil Rackham at Huthwaite and is well presented in SPIN Selling. 
2. Make it easy for them to say 'yes':  Work out the problems your listeners face if they act on your message.  Then present in a way that helps solve those problems.
3. Transmit in a way that reaches their frequency: Audiences are very self-absorbed.  Most of us  find it hard to listen unless we believe we have something to gain from doing so.  When we sit in a presentation, we are tuned into an FM radio station called WIIFM. (What's In It For Me?)  You must transmit onto that frequency or we will tune out and tune into some other channel.  Understand their channel and make it clear what they will gain from listening to you.
4. Keep it relevant: Focus on what could matter to your audience, not what matters to you.  Make sure your examples are relevant to their experience and that you communicate with the right vocabulary.

Small changes in language, big gains in self image

Listen to the language choice of a non-confident person. You will notice they sidle up to communication as if they are already afraid that people will knock them back:  This afternoon I'd like to talk about..... I'd just like to mention......First I want to cover.....

We use these phrases in attempt to be polite but they are indirect and can even be dishonest.  If you are going to talk about something anyway, why not get on with it?

Do yourself a favour and ditch this indirect communication when you need to give a public impression of confidence.  The language then turns into: I'm going to talk about.... It's important we discuss....Our highest priority is to discuss...

Indirect communication is sometimes valuable, but a shift to more direct language will help you create a much stronger presence.  It will force you to choose more interesting words, plus you will feel more confident about yourself and your plans.

A really simple way to improve your listening

Quite simply:

Place your tongue in the bottom of your mouth and you will be forced to listen that little bit longer!

Think about yourself in the heat of an argument, ready to pounce.  To be ready for an instant cutting remark, you put your tongue in the top of your mouth, behind your top teeth - quick draw McGaw.  Just shift it so your tongue is in the bottom of your mouth and lo - you will listen!  Well, at least a bit more.

Try it and see!

For some good quotes on listening 

How to build your interaction in a meeting

Having arrived at the meeting organised, your next challenge is getting to speak up more on the spot.

1. For a start, don't politely wait around for people to magnanimously turn to you for your profound thoughts. Waste of time. Expect to have to TAKE your share of the conversation.
2. Make sure you speak up early, so your presence gets noticed.  Speaking frequently helps you register in people's minds.
3. Use a conversation bridge to create a link into the conversation.  A 'bridge' helps you connect the previous speaker's words to what you want to say.  It will help you feel more polite!  a good bridge example is where you agree with what the last person said and then sail right on. Active listening is a good bridge tool.  You can use it to summarise what the last person said and then move into your brilliant thoughts.
4. Use signalling to get a good share of the airtime.  As you start to speak, let people knwo that you plan to do more than just grunt. Say something like: 'I have several thoughts on this' or 'There are pros and cons to the plan'.
5. Be prepared to fend off interruptions. Techniques include pitching your voice deep, keeping talking, saying that you will come back to their point later. Although it sounds weird, you can sometimes stop an interruption by holdign your hand up in a slight stopping position.

Quickly improve your agendas

When you plan your meeting agenda, write each item as a question that the meeting should answer. This focuses the meeting on the decisions that need to be made, rather than just on the general subject. The question will help target the discussion.

Example: You are organising a meeting to plan a new project. An agenda item currently might be: Project Milestones.  With the heading general, the discussion will tend to ramble. Using the question approach, you would reword it as: What are the key milestones? What progress might we expect by each milestone?

You can see how the agenda question approach will improve team meetings. Common agenda items like Updates from team members would become a range of much more specific and enlivening questions such as: What suggestions do we have for widening Mary's sources of best practice?  What assistance can we give George so he can meet the deadline? 

Try this in your next meeting and I am keen to hear how it goes.

Controlling that dominator

People often ask us how to control dominators in a meeting.  Dominators can be tough to deal with because they seem so unaware of people's signals of frustration.  The domination may arise from different causes, but when they are in domination mode, they are very self absorbed.  Managing them requires looking after their ego.

Solutions to use before the meeting:

• Develop a clear agenda and circulate it so the dominator feels they have had input to it.
• On the agenda, allocate time to the various agenda items
• Appeal to their ego in a way that will be constructive - givng them a formal or informal role. Some meeting leaders ask the dominator to help support a newer colleague.
• You may have to talk to the dominator about the impact of their behaviour

Solutions to apply during the meeting:

• Get all participants to actively agree to the agenda and the approximate timings. Seek nods, or if necessary go around the whole group asking for their agreement to the agenda.  Appoint a timekeeper who can remind people of the time running out on each agenda item - which it will!
• Put the agenda up where everyone can see it and where you can very obviously look at it or even point at it.
• Ground rules can help establish agreed approaches to speaking length and frequency
• The book, The Memory Jogger, has excellent suggestions for that reduce the opportunity for one person to dominate.  Simple processes include the round robin and alternating speakers for and against. Even using a process statement at the start of an agenda item will help. For example: 'We need to hear someone from each team on this issue.'
• Remind people of the need for brevity and sharing of airtime
• Use assertive listening as a form of diplomatic interruption. When the dominator pauses for breath, jump in, summarise their ideas postively and quickly move on to someone else in the group.
• Use body language for control. Sit beside the dominator, so they can't get eye contact with you. When you are seeking contribitions, don't look at the dominator!
• Comment positively on brevity and other non-dominating behaviours.
• Evaluate your meetings at the end, so the group can openly discuss domination and any other behaviours.

Start off as you mean to go on

The beginning of the meeting has a big impact on how the rest of the meeting will go. Yet because it is the beginning, we often become very self-conscious and flap around in a very disorganised way.

Here are some tips that will enable you to feel confident and ensure that the whole meeting will go well :

1. Make people feel welcome and appreciated.
2. State the overall purpose of the meeting and the desired outcome.  This outcome answers the question: How will we know when the meeting is successful?
3. Outline the background to meeting. This might include the history behind the issue, any relevant facts, the consequences if the problem isn't solved etc
4. Establish the constraints for the meeting - what will and will not be discussed in the meeting, deadlines for decisions, any time constraints and so on.
5. Ensure that each participant agrees to the agenda. Give them the chance to alter it, but don't allow them to unexpectedly introduce major topics. Look for at least slight signs of agreement from every person present. This agreemetnt will enable you to hold them to it when they begin to ramble.
6. Now rehearse this introduction until you communicate it confidently

Good luck with your good start. It will make a huge difference.

A good source of tips on meetings

Take your partners:Joining in the meeting

In my previous blog I focused on processes for use in a meeting that will help you grab a chance to speak.  Now we need to add some language tools  into your speaking up repertoire.

• Expect to have to TAKE your share of the conversation, rather than just wait for airtime to be fairly shared.  See Los Angeles Chronicle Article
• Ask a question of the speaker. If you are a shy person, asking a question is often easier than trying to say something mind shatteringly brilliant.
• Use a conversation 'bridge'. Before you say what you really want to say, add in a few words to link yourself to the ongoing conversation.  A simple agreement is an easy start - "Yes, I think you're right.."
• Once you have the speaking opportunity, make sure you keep it.  As you start to speak, signal that you have several things to say, not just one: "We have several concerns with the proposal"; "There are aspects for and against the move". 
• You may still be interrupted, but now your confidence it growing you can handle that!  Just keep talking, avoiding eye contact with the interrupter; say you will comeback to their point later; even just holding your hand up in a slight 'stop' position is very effective, as weird as it sounds.

 

Get your share of the airtime in meetings

'How do I get airtime in a meeting? When I pluck up courage to speak, it just seems too sharp.' This is the issue posed by a recent client.

The challenge involves many of the same skills as presenting.

Go to the meeting prepared:

• Do some research about the meeting participants.  What will they be wanting to get out of the  meeting?  How can you take their focus into account with what you say?
• Work out what you want to achieve in the tasks of the meeting and write it down.
• Work out how you will know when you have achieved what you need.
• Also decide what you want people to think about you after the meeting.
• Figure out the key points you want to get across for each agenda item. This will give you a run up, so that you don't have to figure out something brilliant right on the spot.

Build your interaction as the meeting unfolds

1. Arrive at the meeting early, so you can build interaction with the group before the meeting gets underway.
2. Sit where the meeting leader has to see you!
3. Speak up early on in the meeting, so that you register a presence.  This doesn't mean that you have to say something  startlingly brilliant.  You could just ask a question.  Really, just say anything that will start your part in the communication.
4. Interact with the speakers by giving eye contact and nodding agreement.
5. Offer to do one of the agreed actions from the meeting. This gives you opportunity to keep in contact with the other participants.

The 3M Meetings Skills site covers a wider range tiocs related to meetings:

http://www5.3m.com/meetingnetwork/interact/meeting_advisor.html

Remember that it is like a square dance: You need to show up as a potential partner, so that people will let you join in the dance. So grab your partners and give it a whirl